Here is some more Merton.
I've decided to always listen to a monk.
"We are warmed by fire, not by the smoke of the fire.
We are carried over the sea by a ship, not by the wake of a ship.
So too, what we are is to be sought in the invisible depths of our own being, not in our outward reflection in our own acts.
We must find our real selves not in the froth stirred up by the impact of our being upon the beings around us, but in our own soul which is the principle of all our acts."